I'll take 'You are a jerk for 1000' Alex

Jeopardy! is no doubt one of America's classic trivia shows. Professors, nerds, geeks, rocket scientists, librarians, and encyclopedia addicts typically fill the three contestants stands on a daily basis. Occasionally a normal person gets the opportunity to take up space in Trebek's world. I would not consider myself a hardcore Jeopardy! watcher, but the sight of the average Joe coming back as the returning champ is not crossing my mind. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against dorks like Ken Jennings (pictured). In fact, maybe I am just jealous that they know that The moon's farthest point from the Earth is referred to by this term. Oh wait, no. I am not jealous. But I am jealous of the person who spent the time to put together that website that I just linked. It has every question and answer to every show in the history of Jeopardy!. That is who should be getting the thousands of dollars in my honest opinion. OK, so at this point you may be wondering when I am going start elaborating on the title of this entry. The time is now. Alex Trebek, as you know, is the show's host, and has been since 1984. If you have ever watched even a portion of a show, chances are you were able to catch a glimpse of his egocentric demeanor. He may laugh at a contestant's answer, or even make fun of their hobby. "Only 500, alright." Sorry Alex, not everyone bets all their money all the time on the daily double like you would if you were playing. But of course, if you were playing, the other two players might as well not even show up. Because Mr. Trebek, you'd run the table! For any Trebek lovers out there, I am sorry, but he is just an arrogant jerk trying to make you feel bad. Is it really possible to act like he is all-knowing when he has the answers in front of him? Who is he fooling really? Only himself. Lucky for him though, I will still periodically tune in on a weeknight to watch an episode of Jeopardy! A four lettered name for a jerk. 'what is Alex?' Correct for $2000. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace.

Facebook

If there is one place that college students these days find shelter in, it is the worldwide networking site dubbed Facebook. This shelter, so to speak, protects us from the down pouring of things we need to get done. Oh, and chances are, your parents have one too. And maybe your little brother or sister... Who dare I say, is not even in high school yet. That is aside from the point though. There is no age limit to the effects brought about by the most popular time-wasting website out there. Is it really the most popular time-waster? I am not sure, due to the sudden uprising of Twitter, the oldie but goodie sites such as addictinggames.com, and Facebook's ever-changing-for-the-worse-setup. But simply put, we spend our time letting all of our closest friends know what we are up to in the most up to date fashion (the use of the phrase 'up to' twice was intended). We upload countless pictures and videos for our closest friends to see. We write on people's walls for our closest friends to see. As you can see and already know, everything we do on Facebook is for our closest friends. People like the one person that you went to preschool with, or a friend of your third cousin. Oh, and Hank, the guy who apparently goes to your school. How can you forget the girl who met your sister's friend's mom's hair stylist?? All these people get a 100% free subscription to your life and all it's details. That is, unless you know how to manage your account privacy details. Perhaps clicking on 'decline' instead of 'accept' when Hugh Jacreeper adds you as a friend is also something to consider in the future. No matter though, Facebook still provides us with the opportunity to feel just a little bit better about ourselves. The next time you are feeling down in the dumps, do a few things: update your status, receive some encouraging comments telling you you are special, then take a quick glance at how many friends you have. You will feel better in no time. Oh, and before you logout, become a fan of the Hey Arnold! blog and let all of those closest friends know about it too. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Fast Food

There is nothing fast about fast food. If you are in fact a human, and not an alien, then no matter where you eat, you will eat at generally the same speed. Contrary to popular belief, when walking into one of these burger joints, you do not actually gain the ability to eat your food faster. This should not even be an issue in this day and age, but some people think they can still call McDonald's a fast food restaurant. All restaurants are just simply normal speed food restaurants. Do yourself a favor and tell your friends what you have found out today. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Putt-Putt (miniature golf)

When was the last time you went to a local Putt-Putt place? Typically, these places look slightly run down, and have some sort of catchy sign to lure in young, unsuspecting youth. Most of the time, the parents give in to their young (or old) childrens' desires and pull into these tiny golfing paradises. Not to mention there is a possibility of being a huge arcade inside the building. Once inside, the parents fork out around $5 per person for 18 holes of miniature golf. Let me put that into perspective for you. At a cheap, but decent golf course, you can play 9 holes for about $10. But it is for the kids folks, it's for the kids!! This, of course, does not include the ~$15 spent on tokens for games that tend to spit out only 7 or 8 tickets... Good for one small, slightly aged laffy taffy. Anyway, these places aren't just for kids. Teenagers, young adults, middle-aged people, and even Grandma and Grandpa tag along sometimes (although usually retirement villages have a free miniature golf course with no slopes). When on the course, one may notice a few different types of golfers. There is the "excuses" person. This person has never gotten a hole-in-one, and never will. But that is only because the ball's path was interrupted by a piece of grass, a leaf, a sinkhole under the fake grass, or the foot of their rival golfer. "That was going in!" "Stupid rock, I would have made that shot!" These are just two of the common phrases you will hear this person make. Another type is the "take your time" person. For these professionals (who are usually terrible) it is absolutely necessary to take two, three, or even four practice swings before each putt. They will take a step back before a six inch putt and try to look for a slope. If you find yourself in a situation where you are golfing with one or more of this type of golfer, you should prepare accordingly. First, you will need water, lots of water. Chances are it will be hot outside, and you may be out there for a few hours. Another thing that is a must is a cell phone. During their pre-shot routine, it will be advantageous if you were able to text someone (this includes texting the person who is taking their practice swings. If they receive a text mid-stroke they will get very upset. And it will be hilarious). The final necessity for golfing with a "take your time" golfer, is being patient. Face it, they aren't going to change how they play, so you're going to have to deal with it. A third type of mini-golfer is the "just plain terrible" one. These types are pretty common, and you can spot them from miles away. One, two, three, four. Five, six, seven, eight. They finally got a tee shot to not roll back down to the box. Ok, maybe that is a small exaggeration, but getting an eight on a hole is not uncommon. Make sure you NEVER take these types of people with you when you go real golfing. The final type that I have noticed is, simply put, the "cheater." How do they win? They have the scorecard. One less stroke for them, one more stroke for you. If their ball is resting against the boundary wall, they will take an entire club-length distance and then hit (the rule is almost always the length of the putter head). Three feet from the hole? "That's a gimme." Five feet from the hole? "That's a gimme." Ten feet from the hole? "That's a gimme." The key for keeping track of this nonsense is to always be watching. Never turn your back, because that's all this type needs to fool you. Keep track of their shots in your head. The hardest part is calling them out. Chances are, they won't admit it, so prepare to lose. Before you take some time out of your day off to go miniature golfing, remember what you are getting yourself into. And then go out there and have a grand old time. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Email Attachments

Email is so great isn't it?? We can send messages to anyone, anywhere, anytime; anything. Well, that is, if you know how to properly attach things. It doesn't take up more than maybe 3/9847th of your brain capacity to know how to do this simple task, yet even the smartest techie nerds have trouble at times. So, where lies the problem?? I believe it is Al Gore's fault. When he discovered the internet, and then created email, he should have not included a maximum size for an attachment. Shame on you Al. Meanwhile, I think it would be in our best interest to stay strong despite our email deficiencies... We can all do our part in protecting our friends and family from being unable to send an attachment due to its size. Let them know that you care. Email is no joke; almost a hundred people every decade die from email stress-related issues. That is a number that cannot continue to go unnoticed. Spread the word, ladies and gentlemen. We can not, must not, and will not allow this terrible issue to persist in the world (wide web). If the only way to prevent any possible miscues is to boycott email, then by means do it. People, this is what is true. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Welcome

Having browsed various blogs from time to time in the past, I understand how you probably feel right now... And of course by you, I mean you, singular. I would be honored to have multiple readers for my first blog post though. Already I am getting off topic! You have probably already thought about going back to Facebook, your email, or whatever else you know is much more exciting than this poor man's blog. There was a time when the internet consisted mostly of useful websites that, rather than wasting your time, actually promoted the advancement of society. Not really, and this blog is no different. There is no benefit whatsoever for you in visiting this site. Did you click on the link to this thinking you would actually be entertained? Or did you do it as a favor?? As if I would somehow know that you took the time out of your busy schedule to visit my blog. Well, i guess there is always the possibility that maybe you would click the "Like" button below the link on Facebook... Or perhaps even write a small comment making something up about liking it, even though you didn't even make it past the first two sentences. And based on what I have written so far, you might have attained a false understanding of my writing and my feelings toward my reader(s). In no more than thirty-two short hours, I can promise you only one thing: tomorrow. you see, one day only has twenty-four hours. Thirty-two hours is plenty enough time for you to go from Tuesday to Wednesday, Thursday to Friday, or maybe even Saturday to Monday depending on the time of day you find yourself currently in. Don't put all your eggs in the same basket. What does that even mean? Being an owner of eggs gives one the right to put these same eggs wherever he or she chooses. By placing them in one basket, this person is not worrying about what Grandmother said. This person most likely owns a chicken, or multiple chickens, anyway. So even if the basket is crushed by a falling limb, or dropped by a clumsy gooner, they are just a hatching away from getting even more. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace