I'm Back (and now living), but are you?

Hey all you avid fans out there! I am back! Turn off your coffee makers because I'm bringing the caffeine through your computer screen. Breaking news! Rebecca Black's famous song, "Friday," has been taken off of youtube. Is this all part of her ploy to take over the weekend??? We'll have to wait for Saturday to find out more. Luckily I still remember the words to the song and know what follows; Saturday comes after Friday, and Sunday comes after Saturday. Otherwise we would all be sitting around TGIW (I bet you think the "W" stands for Wednesday, don't you? Well, it doesn't. It stands for "windy") And it does not even matter if wherever you are there is no wind at all. Which, as a fact, is impossible. It is always windy everywhere, all the time. Unless you are in a vacuum. Does anyone actually believe that a feather would fall at the same rate as a brick if they were in a vacuum? Do they think we are stupid? It's like the whole "anything to the square root of zero equals one" thing. I have spent way too much time trying to figure out how that can possibly be true. And do not even try to talk to me about that proof garbage. You can't have something, then involve nothing and expect to end up with anything. Zero means nothing, nada, zilch. One is so random; why not two? Or 142,345,235,203,485,203? The only One who can take nothing and make something is God. So if He wanted to take 384 to the zero power and make it equal one then so be it! But not us, and certainly not me. What is proof anyway? Well, it's certainly not science. Remember when the earth was flat? Yeah, they were pretty sure that was fact. Except someone knew that it wasn't. I'll give you a hint, He just came up a few sentences ago. Turns out that Pythagoras or whoever did not come up with the idea of a spherical earth. Hundreds of years before him the book of Isaiah was written. In chapter 40 (verse 22) you can read that God sits enthroned above the circle of the earth. Medicine has changed, our knowledge of health and safety has changed, and heck, Pluto is not even a planet anymore (travesty)! And the funny thing is, until the Lord comes back, scientists and scholars will continue to discover that many "proven facts" were actually wrong. "Oh no, not another Christian who does not know anything, trying to dull his mind with this idea that some god made everything so he does not have to use his brain and can live in fairy tale land." That's supposed to be what someone in the audience is thinking, like what Jim Gaffigan does in his comedy routines. While they may be right (that I am a Christian), I stand firm in my belief that "by him all things were created"(Colossians 1:16). He knows what we do not know because He made it all. What's the difference between me now and the last time I posted on this blog? I'm now a Christian at heart rather than a Christian by title. You see, Christianity is not like anything else. It is the only thing out there that is solely based on the objective of a divine transaction rather than the subjective attempts of humans to obtain something. While many times it seems like Christianity is just like any religion, (me also being someone who used to see it as something I had to DO), the fact is that it is a matter of the heart. The problem is, though, that our hearts are deceitful and we cannot even understand it. God alone knows our heart, which causes a problem because we are messed up. Let's face it, we are living in a world full of noobs. You are a noob. I am a noob. There is no distinction in that. So how can anyone become a Christian then? Remember that divine transaction I talked about earlier? Yeah, that is the key. God, having seen and known what we would get and have gotten ourselves into, made a way that we could be given something great enough to overcome the problem with our heart. Left up to us, our attempts at purchasing something good for ourselves is not so great. Not just that, but based on our life as a whole, what we have earned is death. Hell. Yes I said it. Sin is godlessness, it's treating God as piss (from a song). Sin is what we do, and "the wages of sin is death." Sin cannot get canceled out by doing something good either. Whether or not you can name all of the ten commandments we all know we can't keep them. And we can't think God will just forget about the bad things we do. We are held accountable for all even if we only break some. So what do we need most then? If we are sinful and we sin, and the justice of sin is Hell, then we are in dyer need of something to help us. And not just help us but to actually do everything for us! But who can do that if "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God?" We would need a miracle; some way to have our account cleared, to have the list of wrongdoings wiped out completely, out of some kind of undeserving method. It would have to be a gift. I mentioned a verse earlier that I did not link or cite. Something about the wages of our sin being death. It has more to it! "But." Now there is a change of pace for once. "But the free gift of God is eternal life." So God just gives a gift? Eternal life? If we backtrack, we remember that our sin is against God and leads to death as a result. Now there is a positive side that says God will freely give us life, unearned, "not a result of works." Ok, that's great, but how can He do that? Just forget our lawlessness? He can't do that because He is a just judge. Hell is around because sin must be paid for. A crime against a random person will get you time in prison. A crime against a well known person will get you longer time in prison. A crime against the President of the United States will most likely get you shot. So a crime against an eternal, perfect God will have eternal consequences. Eternity in the 'prison' of Hell. If God does not make a just decision, then, well, he is not God, because that would make him a liar and not faultless; which would mean He would have to face Hell; yet there would not be a Hell if God were not perfect (I may or may not have just confused you and myself). Ah, but wait! Maybe we are on to something... Not with God being a liar, but with Him experiencing punishment. It turns out He knew we were going to sin, and the only way we'd fully see His power is if we were sinners. So, forever before anything existed, He had a plan of redemption for us. It involved coming to be one of us. Yes, now I am talking about Jesus. That same verse from earlier still has an ending to it. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Jesus Christ, not the phrase that stands in the place of cursing oftentimes - but God in the flesh. This God condescended Himself so low as to be born in a manure-smelling livestock manger. He lived His entire life sinless, and continued in humility by serving humans! The very people whose sins are against Him. His closest friends and family left Him, betrayed Him, and yet it did not change anything. Jesus, known as the Son of God, did everything as planned, leading up even to death on a cross. The time leading up to His crucifixion contained the most possible humiliation someone could receive. Walking down the streets of Jerusalem, falling, collapsing, being mocked for claiming to be God. As He hung on that cross, having no sin, something happened. He died. Why did Jesus have to die? There had to be some kind of transaction; an exchange. On the cross, Jesus became our sin, taking our place and enduring all the wrath that was coming directly for us. A waterfall was dropping on us but He stepped in and inhaled it all. An infinite ocean of suffering was heading for us but He took it instead. "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). So in that courtroom, we stand condemned before a judge, God, who is just. He cannot send us to heaven, to life, due to our sin. But He came and fulfilled the perfect life free from sin for us, yet took the blame from us and purchased us out of that death. The even greater part is that He did indeed rise up from the grave! He is the only one who could overcome death, and it is proof that we now have hope. There is only one way to hear the words "not guilty." Through Jesus Christ. It is a matter of faith. Grace is unmerited, we can't do anything to earn that verdict. So what do you think about this man? Fact or crap? Because there is a lot riding on it. You are either for Him or against Him. You can't just say he was a good man but not someone to call Lord and Savior. Because He Himself said He was God, that He was sinless, that He was the only way. One who claims these things is either true or a complete fiend. So where do you stand? Because at the end of the day, everything will pass away. All the stuff, the money, the pleasures of this world. It is too important a topic to ignore or to not think about.

I am back to the blog; for good? Maybe, maybe not. But I'm different than before, not because I have done anything or am better than anyone, but only by grace through faith. That is the gospel. And faith comes by hearing the gospel. There must be a response.

Love you all,
j05h13
'

I'll take 'You are a jerk for 1000' Alex

Jeopardy! is no doubt one of America's classic trivia shows. Professors, nerds, geeks, rocket scientists, librarians, and encyclopedia addicts typically fill the three contestants stands on a daily basis. Occasionally a normal person gets the opportunity to take up space in Trebek's world. I would not consider myself a hardcore Jeopardy! watcher, but the sight of the average Joe coming back as the returning champ is not crossing my mind. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against dorks like Ken Jennings (pictured). In fact, maybe I am just jealous that they know that The moon's farthest point from the Earth is referred to by this term. Oh wait, no. I am not jealous. But I am jealous of the person who spent the time to put together that website that I just linked. It has every question and answer to every show in the history of Jeopardy!. That is who should be getting the thousands of dollars in my honest opinion. OK, so at this point you may be wondering when I am going start elaborating on the title of this entry. The time is now. Alex Trebek, as you know, is the show's host, and has been since 1984. If you have ever watched even a portion of a show, chances are you were able to catch a glimpse of his egocentric demeanor. He may laugh at a contestant's answer, or even make fun of their hobby. "Only 500, alright." Sorry Alex, not everyone bets all their money all the time on the daily double like you would if you were playing. But of course, if you were playing, the other two players might as well not even show up. Because Mr. Trebek, you'd run the table! For any Trebek lovers out there, I am sorry, but he is just an arrogant jerk trying to make you feel bad. Is it really possible to act like he is all-knowing when he has the answers in front of him? Who is he fooling really? Only himself. Lucky for him though, I will still periodically tune in on a weeknight to watch an episode of Jeopardy! A four lettered name for a jerk. 'what is Alex?' Correct for $2000. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace.

Facebook

If there is one place that college students these days find shelter in, it is the worldwide networking site dubbed Facebook. This shelter, so to speak, protects us from the down pouring of things we need to get done. Oh, and chances are, your parents have one too. And maybe your little brother or sister... Who dare I say, is not even in high school yet. That is aside from the point though. There is no age limit to the effects brought about by the most popular time-wasting website out there. Is it really the most popular time-waster? I am not sure, due to the sudden uprising of Twitter, the oldie but goodie sites such as addictinggames.com, and Facebook's ever-changing-for-the-worse-setup. But simply put, we spend our time letting all of our closest friends know what we are up to in the most up to date fashion (the use of the phrase 'up to' twice was intended). We upload countless pictures and videos for our closest friends to see. We write on people's walls for our closest friends to see. As you can see and already know, everything we do on Facebook is for our closest friends. People like the one person that you went to preschool with, or a friend of your third cousin. Oh, and Hank, the guy who apparently goes to your school. How can you forget the girl who met your sister's friend's mom's hair stylist?? All these people get a 100% free subscription to your life and all it's details. That is, unless you know how to manage your account privacy details. Perhaps clicking on 'decline' instead of 'accept' when Hugh Jacreeper adds you as a friend is also something to consider in the future. No matter though, Facebook still provides us with the opportunity to feel just a little bit better about ourselves. The next time you are feeling down in the dumps, do a few things: update your status, receive some encouraging comments telling you you are special, then take a quick glance at how many friends you have. You will feel better in no time. Oh, and before you logout, become a fan of the Hey Arnold! blog and let all of those closest friends know about it too. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Fast Food

There is nothing fast about fast food. If you are in fact a human, and not an alien, then no matter where you eat, you will eat at generally the same speed. Contrary to popular belief, when walking into one of these burger joints, you do not actually gain the ability to eat your food faster. This should not even be an issue in this day and age, but some people think they can still call McDonald's a fast food restaurant. All restaurants are just simply normal speed food restaurants. Do yourself a favor and tell your friends what you have found out today. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Putt-Putt (miniature golf)

When was the last time you went to a local Putt-Putt place? Typically, these places look slightly run down, and have some sort of catchy sign to lure in young, unsuspecting youth. Most of the time, the parents give in to their young (or old) childrens' desires and pull into these tiny golfing paradises. Not to mention there is a possibility of being a huge arcade inside the building. Once inside, the parents fork out around $5 per person for 18 holes of miniature golf. Let me put that into perspective for you. At a cheap, but decent golf course, you can play 9 holes for about $10. But it is for the kids folks, it's for the kids!! This, of course, does not include the ~$15 spent on tokens for games that tend to spit out only 7 or 8 tickets... Good for one small, slightly aged laffy taffy. Anyway, these places aren't just for kids. Teenagers, young adults, middle-aged people, and even Grandma and Grandpa tag along sometimes (although usually retirement villages have a free miniature golf course with no slopes). When on the course, one may notice a few different types of golfers. There is the "excuses" person. This person has never gotten a hole-in-one, and never will. But that is only because the ball's path was interrupted by a piece of grass, a leaf, a sinkhole under the fake grass, or the foot of their rival golfer. "That was going in!" "Stupid rock, I would have made that shot!" These are just two of the common phrases you will hear this person make. Another type is the "take your time" person. For these professionals (who are usually terrible) it is absolutely necessary to take two, three, or even four practice swings before each putt. They will take a step back before a six inch putt and try to look for a slope. If you find yourself in a situation where you are golfing with one or more of this type of golfer, you should prepare accordingly. First, you will need water, lots of water. Chances are it will be hot outside, and you may be out there for a few hours. Another thing that is a must is a cell phone. During their pre-shot routine, it will be advantageous if you were able to text someone (this includes texting the person who is taking their practice swings. If they receive a text mid-stroke they will get very upset. And it will be hilarious). The final necessity for golfing with a "take your time" golfer, is being patient. Face it, they aren't going to change how they play, so you're going to have to deal with it. A third type of mini-golfer is the "just plain terrible" one. These types are pretty common, and you can spot them from miles away. One, two, three, four. Five, six, seven, eight. They finally got a tee shot to not roll back down to the box. Ok, maybe that is a small exaggeration, but getting an eight on a hole is not uncommon. Make sure you NEVER take these types of people with you when you go real golfing. The final type that I have noticed is, simply put, the "cheater." How do they win? They have the scorecard. One less stroke for them, one more stroke for you. If their ball is resting against the boundary wall, they will take an entire club-length distance and then hit (the rule is almost always the length of the putter head). Three feet from the hole? "That's a gimme." Five feet from the hole? "That's a gimme." Ten feet from the hole? "That's a gimme." The key for keeping track of this nonsense is to always be watching. Never turn your back, because that's all this type needs to fool you. Keep track of their shots in your head. The hardest part is calling them out. Chances are, they won't admit it, so prepare to lose. Before you take some time out of your day off to go miniature golfing, remember what you are getting yourself into. And then go out there and have a grand old time. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Email Attachments

Email is so great isn't it?? We can send messages to anyone, anywhere, anytime; anything. Well, that is, if you know how to properly attach things. It doesn't take up more than maybe 3/9847th of your brain capacity to know how to do this simple task, yet even the smartest techie nerds have trouble at times. So, where lies the problem?? I believe it is Al Gore's fault. When he discovered the internet, and then created email, he should have not included a maximum size for an attachment. Shame on you Al. Meanwhile, I think it would be in our best interest to stay strong despite our email deficiencies... We can all do our part in protecting our friends and family from being unable to send an attachment due to its size. Let them know that you care. Email is no joke; almost a hundred people every decade die from email stress-related issues. That is a number that cannot continue to go unnoticed. Spread the word, ladies and gentlemen. We can not, must not, and will not allow this terrible issue to persist in the world (wide web). If the only way to prevent any possible miscues is to boycott email, then by means do it. People, this is what is true. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace

Welcome

Having browsed various blogs from time to time in the past, I understand how you probably feel right now... And of course by you, I mean you, singular. I would be honored to have multiple readers for my first blog post though. Already I am getting off topic! You have probably already thought about going back to Facebook, your email, or whatever else you know is much more exciting than this poor man's blog. There was a time when the internet consisted mostly of useful websites that, rather than wasting your time, actually promoted the advancement of society. Not really, and this blog is no different. There is no benefit whatsoever for you in visiting this site. Did you click on the link to this thinking you would actually be entertained? Or did you do it as a favor?? As if I would somehow know that you took the time out of your busy schedule to visit my blog. Well, i guess there is always the possibility that maybe you would click the "Like" button below the link on Facebook... Or perhaps even write a small comment making something up about liking it, even though you didn't even make it past the first two sentences. And based on what I have written so far, you might have attained a false understanding of my writing and my feelings toward my reader(s). In no more than thirty-two short hours, I can promise you only one thing: tomorrow. you see, one day only has twenty-four hours. Thirty-two hours is plenty enough time for you to go from Tuesday to Wednesday, Thursday to Friday, or maybe even Saturday to Monday depending on the time of day you find yourself currently in. Don't put all your eggs in the same basket. What does that even mean? Being an owner of eggs gives one the right to put these same eggs wherever he or she chooses. By placing them in one basket, this person is not worrying about what Grandmother said. This person most likely owns a chicken, or multiple chickens, anyway. So even if the basket is crushed by a falling limb, or dropped by a clumsy gooner, they are just a hatching away from getting even more. Big, small, it's not for something, yet half for nothing. Peace